What is a Lady?

Lady sharing tea with a gentleman.
There are two other types of people that it’s important to define to contrast with men. I’ve already discussed boys but defining a lady is also important. In the simplest terms; a lady is to a girl as a man is to a boy, but there’s more to it than that. This can be a guide to becoming the kind of woman that deserves a real man, or a checklist for finding a woman like that. 

What a Lady is Not

Possibly more important than what a lady is, is what a lady is not. This can be summarised quite easily; a lady knows and acts like she has value. She is not a possession. She is a person and thus her well-being is of concern beyond how it effects others, and she considers her own good when she must make a decision. She is not a slave. When she serves it is because she sees values in the service or enjoys serving. 

A Lady Accepts That She Will Never Be A Man

There may be debate over whether or not a person’s gender can ever truly change, but one thing that is clearly true is that anyone with a woman’s body cannot be a man. That’s not to say that a lady can’t have things in common with men or have traditionally manly interests, it just means that she is inherently excluded from any group defined as being made up of men. It’s quite common that women want to be a part of all male groups and activities, unaware that their very presence fundamentally alters the group dynamic. 

Also part of that is acknowledging the inherent differences between the sexes. I’m not saying that all traditional gender roles must be universally observed, but rather being aware of the differences that may have led to them is necessary. Mostly it means that sometimes gender may be directly relevant. A perfect example of this is the intentional male space, some women believe they need such spaces as well, not acknowledging that intentional male spaces exist because the natural male spaces have become female spaces. When women are present in male environments, they become female environments. 

A Lady is Beautiful

That’s not to say that if a woman doesn’t have alabaster skin, fiery locks, and a perfect figure she can’t be a lady, but rather that a lady takes pride in her appearance. As far as I’m aware, there’s no such thing as a healthy woman who can’t be beautiful if she tries. On the other hand, there’s also no such thing as a woman that all men find equally attractive, but there’s no need for that anyway. Part of that is embracing her femininity. There’s no denying that female and male bodies are different and a lady takes pride in that. When a woman wears women’s clothing that suits her body she tends to look beautiful and confident, but when she wears men’s clothes she sends the message that she’s ashamed of her body. 

As formality increases, so should the differentiation in men’s and ladies’ appearance. On the extreme casual end simply wearing gender appropriate variants of the same clothing is fine, but there should be no similarity at the formal end. 

A Lady Embraces the Roles She Accepts

This mostly applies to gender dynamics, but it’s somewhat relevant all the time. Most of the time it’s pretty obvious what roles she’s accepted but in a marriage it’s less so. When a lady gets married she either comes to an agreement with her husband about how labour is to be divided in their household, or they both accept the traditional gender roles. I’m not saying that there’s a universal “right” division of labour, but rather that the traditional gender roles should be treated as the assumed default. Virtually any roles can work with mutual consent, although it can be hard to stop the “househusband” role from becoming emasculating. 

A Lady is Moral

Defining morality can be a very difficult issue, so I’m not going to try. A lady’s morality is always held to a high standard. The same general morality should apply to men and ladies, beyond the simple willingness to differentiate. The one area that deserves to be mentioned is sex. A lady reserves all sexuality beyond a kiss for committed relationships and doesn’t embrace her full sexuality until marriage. 

A Lady is Supportive

They say behind every great man is a great woman, and that’s true. A lady has her man’s back. Her man will stand up for her as well. It goes both ways. 

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